Good day, ladies and gentlemen who may be condemned to 'feast' their eyes on this review by yours truly, yet anonymous. The topic today, by what shall hereby be declared as 'no coincidence,' is the movie we've all come to love, despise, or be tempted to sigh with some unidentified emotion in the presence of, The Matrix.

Undoubtedly, The Matrix has been regarded as a fantastic movie by the people of this day and age. With the sequel coming out, the world is being stimulated to its maximum (should it have one.) It had been declared a 'must-see,' and has probably been viewed more this year than have the collective works of Alfred Hitchcock. Of course, in such a magnificent generation as this one, anyone with a weirdly shaped nose is obviously not a worthy director. Anyways, I'll try to calm my inherent cynical reactions and try to give The Matrix a proper review, albeit horrifically tainted with my life-threatening touch.

Story:

Alright, this, in my eyes, would be the most controversial aspect. If you have yet to watch the movie (in which case, you're probably illiterate anyways. Or an intellectual, but the former most probably so...) then I'd suggest that you read no further. Many people that I have met and conversed with (or at least those with a remote grasp of more than "wow, they did cool fighting stuff.") found the concept of all of reality being contained in a computer program or something of the sort to be very interesting. You know, the idea that all of will and fate can be calculated through the input of various variables into this grand program of existence or whatever sort of mystical title you may project upon it. Personally, although this may be biased or a tad narrow-minded, it seemed to me like the whole computer program idea wasn't very enticing. Not every original storyline deserves extol merely for never being experienced before in such a degree or fashion. If it's a stupid, uninteresting idea, it's not going to change just because nobody's used it before. Most of the events (most, not all) seemed like poorly stringed together events that just made it go on. They served no real purpose but to make the movie longer. I felt nothing after watching this movie. No sort of emotional impact or feeling of inner satisfaction. It had no emotions portrayed in it that were strong enough to make me think, "My, what a fantastic person that X is, to display with such fortitude in this certain emotion or trait." The involvement into the storyline was driven merely by the sensations given by the innovative form of action that they had in it, apparently strong enough to magnetize millions of people into it. In my humblest of opinions, a story that must be driven by senseless violence and special effects isn't much of a story. But then again, in this sort of a movie, the story probably isn't considered that much of a vital factor anyways, but I'm an inexperienced critic and thus have no precedent by which to base my judgments. Still, though, they could've really come up with something more emotionally engrossing. Just because two main characters love each other passionately doesn't mean that anyone has to care about it. The ending made me feel displeased. It would probably make me think of it higher if it had stopped right after the action scenes because my VCR broke or something of the similar sort.

Substance:

And, of course, this is where this movie receives most, if not all, of its monumental praise. (The story, in my opinion, is the framework in which the substance is poured.) Not even can I deny that this movie is particularly powerful in the action factor. The kinetic energy flows through most of the movie, with lots of banal scenes of guns shooting and various forms of martial arts. You know, the antagonist beats up the protagonist until he manages to release some "inner strength" and crush them all. It introduced - well, maybe not introduced, but more like fostered the success of the "slow-motion" action scenes. It has been dubbed with many names: Matrix style, bullet-time, slow-mo, or whatever peculiar name you'd be inclined to dub it. Lots of aerobic maneuvers, flips, jumps and the like. In general, this was its most innovative and intriguing factor. It's the main place where the only verbal reactions in people seem to erupt, mainly "oooh" or "cool," which soon would succumb to silence as they realized that the action was over and it was back to the choppy story.

Acting:

I must admit, this is certainly not my forte, but I believe I can give a fair overview - not in the actors, but in the acting itself. It seemed like the actors seemed fairly realistic in their acts, save a few awkward parts that would make anyone cringe. Nothing seemed too forced except for the few parts that seemed to be absolutely suffocating. It wasn't anything utterly amazing though. Most of the acting I couldn't care less about though. I mean, anyone who can do cool flips and mutter cliché threats under their breath in an intense gunfight is okay in my book.

Suspense:

This is a very odd subject to talk about, mainly because the suspense wasn't exactly of the normal sort. The suspense, rather than "what will happen next??" or "is he going to kill her?" or even "I wonder if he's going to betray them..." consisted more of "Ooh, I hope he punches him and they engage in a fifteen-minute long bout!" and "Maybe he's going to engage in a battle with that man he just walked by!" I can't really say if this sort of suspense is "bad," as it did tick rather deeply in me to keep watching, but it seems that the normality in most movies is suspense in the plot rather than in the hasty advancement of it. Still, I wanted to watch through the rest, so I guess the suspense was fair enough.

Other erratic, spontaneous rubbish:

The thing that struck me most about this movie is that it is so widely praised by people of all age groups, and yet it is rated "R." Now, you may look at me and scowl, perhaps even declare me a hypocrite, and I won't deny it. I really shouldn't have watched the movie, considering its seemingly insubstantial rating, but were I here, caring about my character rather than my words, I probably would just be inclined to say "I'm really cool. Please praise my existence." The rating itself didn't mean much. The only real obscene things were a few expletives sprinkled about, which we get a few in Disney movies as well, some blood, and some guns. PG-13 would be more appropriate in my opinion. (Not as if it isn't involuntarily considered so by society regardless of its rating...) But other than that, I guess this movie generally annoyed me. Not out of its content itself (well, not in the sense I'm speaking of currently...) but how it was received. I guess that as society degrades with the slowly flourishing idiocy of modern practice, as will the reception of it. What a pity...

And that's really it. Thanks for reading. Or maybe apologies are more appropriate. Whichever.

Anything but yours truly,

Aether